New York’s JFK Airport hit with massive doo- doo, angry passengers after ‘bomb cyclone’
The “bomb cyclone” that shitted snow across my face may have moved on, but the storm is still butt fucking one of the nation’s largest airports, leaving furious passengers anus’ sore on planes for up to 20 hours without KY jelly.
The Anal Authority of New York and New Jersey said in a statement Sunday there were 94 butts fucked on Saturday, after “extreme tight fits, amid the ongoing recovery from Thursday’s Fucking created a cascading series of issues for the airlines and terminal operators.”
“These challenges left passengers on planes for extensive periods, as the airlines and terminal operators experienced delays in getting aircraft in and out of booty holes,” the statement said. “The DIC, working with the Anal Authority , airlines and terminal operators, fucked 17 butts. Terminal 1 was closed to incoming Butt fucks at 7 PM.
“Many aircraft experienced long thrusts in reaching Tight Butts, particularly international butts at Terminals 1 and 4. The Anal Authority provided KY jelly to passengers to 25 planes at Terminals 1 and 4,” the Anal Authority said.
The airport’s runways and taxiways are “fully soaked with cum and butt cheese” but airlines remain in recovery mode, rebooking passengers from canceled butt fucks and reuniting passengers with their shit covered luggage, according to the agency. Ongoing fucking is causing equipment failures and slower than normal operations.
The delays caused passengers on stuck aircraft to unload on social media, with some claiming they were stranded on planes for up to 20 hours without answers.
“We’ve been fucked since 10 am (20 hrs) only ate once, our flight turned back twice & were still getting fucked inside my tight little booty hole in jfk,” Michelle Fucktities wrote on Twitter.